The few days I have been sort of acting, strangely in a sense... Whatever the case, I don't feel it's my normal self... I've been like crapping a lot, acting gay-ish a lot and going pretty much crazy at times... Is this a sign that I'm cracking? Piles or work has been coming our way and it never seems to end... I always end up tired in the evening and somehow, I've lost all my previously free afternoons due to one reason or another... Now, my only free afternoon is Friday, since I don't have any Humanities remedials yet... I'm finding hard to find my own time to even revise some of the things that I have been intending to revise, like Geography for example... Honestly speaking, I'm really really scared of O levels... Just one screw up and it's good day to you... How am I going to last something like 1 month's worth of exams? For a person like me, it sounds impossible and I won;t be surprised if I end up half dead by the end of it... Ok, I know that I'm not the only one that's going through all this and stuff like that, some people have it off worse than me... I guess I'll have to find time to revise some of my subjects that I need to pay more attention too, which is largely my Humanities... Stress and pressure seems to be buidling up, and simple things like a stupid book that I've owed the school library for weeks but I'm still reading it and am being chased by the library and I'm desperately trying to find time to complete it somehow contribute to the crap that's coming my way... I also seem to have a bit of difficulty trying to organize my stuff for this Saturday's stuff, and some crappy things that pop out aren't lightening my load... Perhaps I should have just let the other party taken the job, you might call me stupid for even bothering to take up the task, but somehow, I just did, though for certain moments I do regret my actions... I'll try my best though... It seems like this will go on for the nest 3 to 4 months or so, and the pressure and stress will only keep increasing... How much more will I be able to take? Somehow, it's a little ironic isn't it, that I said that I had to make time for myself and yet I'm wasting my time blogging here -.- Also another problem that does plague me once in a while is something that perhaps nearly everyone has experienced... I don't really know who I can approach with my problems sometimes... Cause everyone really has enough crap on their plates and there's really no point increasing their burden with mine, I don't like troubling people... A friend said some stuff during a msn conversations a few nights ago, and had he not been just crapping, I would have been deeply touched by his words... Too bad, such stuff doesn't come my way... I guess what I really have to do is to grit my teeth and tell myself to go on... Where my motivation might come from, I have no idea... I just hope that I have the strength to pesevere, cause several blows this year have already sort of proven the fact that some dreams will remain dreams, even if you worked damn hard for it, specifically, this thing happened twice already(though you could say I didn't really work that hard for the second one, but I did put in effort, I think)... I just hope I can just last through this whole ordeal... Lot's of crap is still going to come our way... Once again, if you feel offended and want to say stuff like "you think you're only one in the world suffering?" or "don't think only you feel busy" that kind of thing, I'll just say, I'm just so sorry that I'm not sensitive enough for you and not able to hide the crap inside of me...
Yesterday was pretty ok, just had english till like 5pm? Then today on the way back to school, someone said "hi" to me, and I don't think I know him personally... Think he's the h.o.t. of our neighbour's unit I think... How did he know me? Haha... Ok, just a thought anyway... Will try to find time on Friday afternoons and Saturday afternoons to revise/do homework and all that... Might be doing in school or library or something... Anyone care to join me?
Tomorrow is O level Chem SPA Skill 3 experiment planning... Hope I don't screw it up...
Got to know of this song, it's pretty nice(to me at least)... It's currently one of my favourite songs I think... I've a lot of favourite songs I think...
The Pretender -- Foo Fighters
mentally challenged @ 8:27 PM
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