Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond

Past few days have been going back to school to study... Wednesday, decided not to go for English... Did Maths with Leon in the library... Evening went to the library with Jonathan and Wai Yinn... Thursday, same thing, didn't want to go for English, study in school, then went to the library with Jonathan... Had dinner at Subway with Julain, Eugene and Jit Hin as well... Borrowed a book from the library... I have outstanding fines?! $0.30... -.- Ok... Today, woke up a little later... Went to school, did the Chem paper... Had lunch with Ken and Jun Wei... Sorry I couldn't join you guys at AMK library... Did maths, then Leonard and I went to find Mrs Goh... More maths, then went to have dinner with Jit Hin and Eugene... Decided to come home instead of the library, basically cause Eugene Sim and Jonathan weren't free... These few days also saw quite a number of my seniors... Yesterday saw Darius, Yang Heng and Sui Chuan in J8... Today saw Guo Kai, Yang Heng and Sui Chuan in CHS library and J8... Somehow there's sort of a barrier between us? Sort of feel uncomfortable when even saying high... Same thing with my juniors, the ones whom I was once familiar with, all sorts of awkward pauses during our conversations... Haiz... Is this considered normal? Ah well... Saw a bunch of our Area CIs at Macs while I was walking around with Eugene and Jit Hin... Saw Chester sir, who sort of spotted me first... Haha...

O levels, after today, it's only 2 days left... Do I feel prepared? No... About 2 years worth of work all boils down to these few days of examination... One that will decided your fate... Well, obviously the stress is building up, some of my friends have reportedly started breaking down... Some going crazy (a bit) too.... Haha... Me? Let's just say, I'm starting to lose a bit of my self control... Mind's going blank every now and then... I can't focus, I don't feel like continuing all this slogging... Ultimately, what's the result? However I guess what we were discussing just now did have a point, it's our expectations... I have a classmate for example, he has very and I mean very high expectations of himself... Right now, he seems to be breaking down quite a bit? Guess it's something like a culture of Asians... Once we fall below our expectations, just a bit, we'll get disappointed... Aren't most of us like that? Perhaps for me, I've set too high expectations for myself as well?

Also, I did a little bit of reflection... I realised, I really owe a lot to 29th Batch... Along my NP journey, I've learnt much from these guys, through the numerous interactions, events, disputes... Also, I've definitely gotten help from this lot, to get to where I am... The times we helped each other in promotion tests, the trainings... Miss all the times we had trainings together... In Sec 2, I would not have been able to enter the Black Knights squad if not for them, who appealed to our squad leaders, cause I couldn't attend the selection test... On a side note, have to thank seniors like Wee Siong, Daryl, Troy, Tiong Hui etc for giving me chances... Haiz... Feel so indebted to so many people... Many a times, members of 29th Batch would point out some of my shortcomings, helping me to change... I definitely learned loads... Regrets? Perhaps I regret not having spent enough time with certain members of my squad... Now, maybe it's cause of the O levels, or maybe not, we seem to be drifting apart, leaving only the handful of us left... Is the name 29th Batch to disappear soon? Honestly, I really hope that after the O levels, all of us can pick up from where we left, start afresh, maintain our bond... True, some things might have been unforgivable, some things might have seemed to be bloody hypocritical in a sense, these are the things that'll hinder our reforming... It'll take time, I just hope that it will happen...

Does this shirt still have its meaning?

On a lighter note, I'm still glad we as people of 4-10 have grown quite close to each other... Hope that we can remain like that even after JC...

Presenting the star of 4-10! (And also the class's play-thing... Haha)

Haha... Credits to Alvin for the photo... Freshly taken today... XD

Let's hope I can pull through this O levels... At the end of the road, will we emerge victorious or defeated?

What I've Done -- Linkin Park



Back to Maths... Bye...

mentally challenged @ 10:30 PM