Whenever I remember that day when some people just daoed me when I greeted them , I just feel like I've done something wrong. I start to think, what is it that they dislike about me that led them to daoing me? I then think: I'm a showoff, attention seeker, extra, over enthu till it becomes irritating, I ask too many questions, actionist, some stupid bugger who can't do anything right, selfish, crapper, think I'm damn big, talk too much etc.....
Perhaps all these are the reasons why their actions are so. I wanted to change to become a better person as one of my new year resolutions. But I guess I changed into someone worse, I got the opposite results. I think: Is there anyway to change myself? This time with the desired results? I couldn't. If that's the case, is there any reason left to continue living this life? Is there any reason to still exist and stand in people's way? Perhaps not....... Perhaps I'll see future results first and then decide if I'll turn into a recluse.
Now, I'm going to stop being enthu, stop asking questions and start to relinquish my dreams, since they can never be achieved.
I'll stop getting in everyone's way.....
mentally challenged @ 1:21 PM
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