Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond

Time keeps passing by, but it seems I'm frozen still. Scars are left behind, but some too deep to feel

I really wonder if I'm an empty shell, making nothing but just noise. I know this is a very screwed up thought. All this simply had to start with the first period of the day. Got back our compre test for GP. Guess what? Bloody screwed up: 22/50. Don't usually get this kind of score, it's always about 28 or so. Okay so 1 WEEK BEFORE THE BLOODY PRELIMS I get this kind of score back. The compre was done a few weeks ago but it doesn't matter. Sucks. This just sucks. Mr Tan asked me how was my studying today. My reply was simple. It was a bit like what I told Warren just now, except with fewer details lol. Right now, I've come to a stage where I can't really bring myself to believe in so called 'prospects' anymore. I think what I really really am in need of is just a little booster, some success to show that it's possible. I've been working, but not as much as the rest. Is that a reason? I don't know. It's freaking demoralising every single time something comes up to whack you right across the face with a loser sign attached to it. Believe? In what is the key thing now.. Mr Tan told me it's not the time to get down in the dumps and have to carry on. Yeah I know that, but a lot of things seem to be pushing me back down.

Had dance for pe today, okay it seemed kind of fun. However I wasn't in any mood to enjoy the dancing. Just had a very screwed up feeling the entire day. Didn't do much either, just finished reading on fiscal policies and reading up for supply side at the moment. Need to face my fear of econs, but no time left.. So screwed up that I gave in temptation and just went to play a bit of floorball with Wei Chen, Shi Min, Brenda and Zhu Er after dinner. The rest of the guys played basketball lol. Random note, I think my language has seriously dropped in standard since O's. Last year might be a reason.. Let's see what we can do. Okay and I'm kinda stupid to think I could recover so quickly. Not too bad except a bit cui throughout. Now feeling very crappy already -.- Guess I shall go read econs before sleeping. Tomorrow I better do more written work if not I'm gonna feel like I've wasted my time again -.- Warren and I seem to be in similar situations too lol. Haven't managed to have a good talk with him like that in a long time (: A temporary hiatus, perhaps. So now what's important? Try to keep going I guess...... Saw this fan page on Facebook which I think made a lot of sense "Sometimes there is no next time, no time outs, no second chances. Sometimes it's now or never" I guess this period is one of them.

Okay, I think this one pretty nice song from the new album. Heard that it's linked to The Rev somehow. Oh well. I think the lyrics are pretty well thought out and it has a nice tune to it. It's supposed to have a sad theme I think. Enjoy

Victim -- Avenged Sevenfold


House full of roses, a letter on the stairs
A tape full of messages for anyone who cares
Collage of broken words and stories full of tears
Remembering your life cause we wish that you were here
Nothing is harder than to wake up all alone
Realize it's not okay, it's the end of all you know
Time keeps passing by, but it seems I'm frozen still
Scars are left behind, but some too deep to feel

And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all's gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime

Some days you'll find me in a place I like to go
Ask questions to myself 'bout the things I'll never know
What's left to find? Cause I need a little more
I need a little time, can we even up the score?

And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel, tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all's gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain, inside
We're all just victims of a crime

Nothing lasts forever, for all good things it's true
I'd rather trade it all while somehow saving you
It must have been the season that've threw us out of line
Once I stood so tall, now I'm searching for a sign
So don't need your salvation with promises and kind
And all the speculations, save it for another time
'Cause we all need a reason, a reason just to stay
And some just can't be bothered to stick around another day

And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel, tonight
We've all been victims of a crime
When all is gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We've all been victims of a crime
Victims of a crime
Living with this crime
I'm missing you, I'm missing you
I'm missing you, I'm missing you..

mentally challenged @ 10:36 PM