My fingers are crossed each night, hoping for a miracle, hoping for something right
Don't really know what to make out of this week. Monday nothing much. Tuesday went to watch the finals with Eugene and Jun Xiang. Met a few CHS people there. MJ won 7-2. Jared's officially my idol man, I want to play like him. Met Jon and Eugene at J8, had fun catching up even though we were supposed to study lol. Bumped into quite a number of people at J8 lol. Today, kena zam in the face by the ball, luckily my specs and nose were ok. Leadership period was some talk about interview skills and stuff. Kena sabo to go on stage to demonstrate sitting posture lol. Library in the afternoon, tried to do work but didn't manage to do much unfortunately..Tomorrow's going to be a long day.. Think I need more proper sleep :/
Disappointment after disappointment, in everything. As proven once again, no matter how much I try, the end result is always the same. Econs and GP next week, one word: Die. Content subjects screwed. Mental strength and capacity: Screwed. Mood: Even worse. Guess this sucks the most for people like me cause motivation and encouragement are very important factors in stuff. A little anticipation and confidence can do wonders, but if it doesn't turn out right, the results can be devastating. Why must things be like that, all the time? Guess this is just one of those days.. What could give you strength, could also be what could kill you. Tony Stark almost died from the arc generator that was ironically keeping him alive. Those who watched Ironman 2 would know this. Some things are just hard to type, like the jumble of feelings we might have. Mr Yong's law of success: Success breeds success, failure breeds failure.
Some things that happened before, they screwed up, because of me, because of my reaction, because of my simplistic, naiive thinking. Yeah, upon reflection some things just looked so stupid, nonetheless, they could only have been done by yours truly. I told myself never to make those mistakes again, lest I cause trouble, or hurt people again. Hope I can keep my word. Still a bit haunted by them though :/
I look back on my term and ask myself: What have I done right? Maybe things would have been so much more different than they are now if someone else took up the job. Just ain't what I thought I could be, or what I thought I could do. I'm such a letdown. I'm sorry
Sorry, needed somewhere to rant. Unstableness causes me to talk rubbish. Hope things will be okay soon :/ Gotta be strong, gotta get everything straightened out and back on track
Bruised -- Jack's Mannequin
I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away
And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect...
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last?
This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised
I lace my Chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what's playing through
The in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what's playing through
The in-flight radio, and I
And I am, finally waking up
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
Don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah
So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don't think
That you can't stop by the bar
You haven't shown your face here since the bad news
Well I'm here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night cause your place isn't far
And hours pass, and hours pass, yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah, she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, bruised, bruised
mentally challenged @ 8:50 PM
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