Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond

Hey all, okay Term 2 week 2 kind of just ended, since tomorrow is Good Friday. Most recent thing that happened, had a friendly against MI yesterday, both guys and girls. The girls lost ): But well, part of the learning curve I guess, I believe they are capable of much more in this time frame. Jia you! For the guys, we won! 14-3 (: First time ever having such a win. Let's do this guys, let's work hard for Nationals, just 20 more days!! Currently my whole body is kind of fatigued cause of the past few days of exercises from pt and pe zzz. Damn tired still for some reason. Need to make use of this supposedly longer weekend to rest and get some work done

Sometimes for some reason or another, I seem to be held back by so many things, or maybe even held down. Not really sure how to explain, guess I'm kind of held back and paralysed by my fears. Somehow, it's hard to let go of some things, like I can still be affected by something that can have happened like two years ago? I'm kind of held back, not daring to dream, not daring to strive at times, cause that possibility of failing and falling is just overwhelming. Yeah, I guess I'm afraid of failure, afraid to fall down when you're driven so hard by passion and your dreams, cause that's when you fall the hardest, for me at least. Of course every other experience that involved your passion driving you to try to achieve, and failing to reach your goal, just adds on to the fear and apprehension whenever we try to embark on another campaign for a new goal. Perhaps this is why I don't really perform or anything, cause like they say, you've lost half the battle if your mind isn't there. The other half is lost cause I lack any skills or talents. I kind of made this statement to my parents once, what's the point of fighting so hard in trying to get scholarships or places in top courses in top universities, when so many others are going to get 4As, and they'll own you upside down with H3s, some damn zai portfolio and whatever knowledge they have? What chance do we have then? I don't even have a damn aim of what I want to do yet, I can't even catch up with my work so to speak, what more a dream of good results -.- Let's hope my brain will achieve some miracle and be able to function properly soon..

Lazy to post the next secion. Whatever the case, guess for some things I have to make a choice, like between two cases. Not saying that either one will be a postive outcome, but well you have to choose sometimes right? Not like I can multi-task very well anyway. Since we're on some things, I've been wondering for the past few days if some things we do are justified. Should some actions be done? Even if I lose out? What do I gain, what do others gain? Sometimes it's just so easy to appear to be preoccupied with training and use it as visual excuse to hide whatever's bugging you

So now the question is, is it really worth it? Guess I'll have to decide and realise that myself, maybe now maybe later, maybe never. I need to get back my faith, in myself, in what I believed in

Happy Birthday Van Ho!

mentally challenged @ 10:16 PM