Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Lost, again.. Conceded 5-1 to RJ. Feeling totally sucks. We fought quite hard, but I guess it wasn't enough. Denied a few goals, just unlucky. We need to stop making stupid mistakes, we need to stop letting in stupid goals, we need to shoot on target.. Guess I wasn't strong enough either, for my personal playing. Physically drained.. Now it's just playing, for the love of the game, nothing else matters anymore
Quoted from the bridge portion of A Little Piece of Heaven by A7X. Two voices singing one after another, lyrics in bracket are by the lady in the song. One of my favourite effects, good part of the song also
And if it's not enough (If it's not enough, if it's not enough) If it's not enough(Not enough) Try again(Try again) And again(And again) Over and over again
Okay, I made one of the craziest moves ever in my floorball life today. Bought a new stick, a Fatpipe one, flex 29 lol. From a flex 23 to flex 29, I wonder how I've survived one year like that haha. Learned quite a bit from the guy there. Somehow, the feeling when you buy a stick there is like totally different haha. Really helped me try out the different flexes. Still need a bit of time to adjust, hope it'll be a good investment lol. The girls lost to IJ 6-2 today. Don't know all the details yet. Don't give up people! Fight on!!
Tomorrow is going to be a very important match. Fight for your dreams, give nothing but your best for it! Going to rest well tonight, hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to play much better than before. Let's go team! For NJ!
Won MI 3-1 today. Yi Jun's goal was the best. Turn drag from the corner. Nice!
Very disappointed with my own playing today. Played horribly :/ Got scolded by coach quite a bit. Felt quite drained on court. Totally just cui-ed. Mental before the game was already screwed cause of what happened. Hope everything will be okay with Chun Yong. Take care dude. Joshua too. My blade got damaged quite badly also zzz.. Guess I need to sleep a bit more.. Thanks loads, to those who tried cheering me up.
Wednesday, have to convert shots into goals. Go for the win!
Argh crap, this weekend has been extremely unproductive. Slept my whole saturday afternoon away again. Slept quite a lot during the weekend actually, but I still feel tired. Crap.. -.- Dunno what's wrong with me. I pray I can harness enough energy for tomorrow's match. Too strong a feeling
And so tomorrow. We're bouncing back. Let's go NJ!!
We can always be there for people when in need. But who will be there for us when we're down? Guess maybe that's why someone told me, you gotta be strong yourself, so that you can give your best for others. Whether anything comes back, maybe it won't matter. Maybe. I'll try my best, to give my best to those around me.
I don't think I recovered from yesterday's match yet, still extremely tired. Games during self training left me totally drained. Oh and I can't seem to do any work at all, not at all.
So much I want to say, so much I want to do, but I guess sometimes it's best to remain silent and be passive. Contrary to that. I really want to play my best for the next 4 matches. I want us to score, I want to win them, for NJ, for NJ Floorball
Lost 5-0 to TJ today. 26 shots. Not all were on target, but they were tries, though none went in. Took about 6 shots or so I think. And I missed the damn penalty. Thought I could score and change the momentum of the game and help to motivate everyone to try further. Guess I failed
Very important lessons learnt today. For one I think we need to readjust our so called structure of play. Line 1 and 2 got exhausted very badly today. Let's work things out I guess. Mistakes made today, plenty. Whatever the case it's over, let us learn from these crucial lessons. 4 more matches to go. We're not out yet, don't give up. Let's put in our all for the rest of the matches!
To add on, I really want to thank the girls' team for their encouragement and stuff, like their bananas for the guys and stuff. I'm really really moved by their support. Thanks loads and all the best for next week too! (Don't forget your PIs first lol) Thanks to all my friends who wished the team as well. Thanks people
Once again, I'm being shown what Adrian told me when I took over, that sometimes you gotta cast your own emotions aside and bring the team forward. That's what I gotta do now.
Let's play our best, right till the very end. Don't give up now team!
I guess everyone has a certain limit to what they can take mentally. Guess I reached one of those points today. I don't really know what to do now. Thanks loads to Nigel for talking to me.
Hope is bleak, everything's against us, but we gotta fight on, because we must.
When You Believe -- Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey
In this time of fear When prayers so often proves in vain Hope seems like the summer birds Too swiftly flown away There can be miracles, when you believe Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill Who knows what miracles you can achieve When you believe, somehow you will You will when you believe
Frustrated, just a jumble of thoughts and feelings all mixed around. Guess just now made me really want to just explode or something. So I can't even watch my own shows now and MUST play second fiddle to something called soccer. Very minor matter, but the way it was done is really wtf. And everytime I have to play the freaking loser role. Thanks loads. I guess my over reaction was partially caused by the built up of other things. Thought a lot just now in the afternoon. Quite a range of things
Expectations are upon you, and I'm not living up to them. Sometimes you just want to stay silent and play passive for a while, but you can't cause of what you hold. I might be considered stupid, for even doing what I'm doing, for perhaps even trying again. Won't it be weird? Is there even any fighting chance left for everyone, with whatever we have now? Am I even right to think this way? Give me a clue, somehow. It's hard to explain these thoughts I guess. Faith and confidence, have to find them back
It's just not enough Wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees Why does every moment have to be so hard?
Bunch of stupid ranting for a post. Guess I'm just in a very lousy mood right now :/
If you don't have faith, there's nothing worth believing
I think this song is really inspiring (:
Dream Big -- Emily Shackleton
When I was a little girl I swore that I would change the world When I grew up Nothing else would be enough Back then it all seemed black and white But these days I just can't seem to find The child in me, who always believed I see it everyday We settle for safe And lose ourselves along the way But if you don't dream big what's the use in dreaming If you don't have faith there's nothing worth believing It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for So reach out for something more Took a well perfected plan For me to finally understand That it's not me Faith is something I can see I loose the reins and let em go I broke the chains I fear That had their hold on me too long When all I felt was wrong I've wiped my tears away Now it's time for a change No I can't waste another day Cuz if you don't dream big what's the use in dreaming If you don't have faith there's nothing worth believing It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for Yeah So close your eyes and tell me what you see Between what's real and make believe Here's the path we've all been searching for So reach out for something more Than you ever could imagine then move Don't wait for it to happen Life's too short for not taking chances The stars aren't as far as they seem But if you don't dream big what's the use in dreaming If you don't have faith there's nothing worth believing It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for So close your eyes and tell me what you see Between what's real and make believe Here's the path we've all been searching for So reach out for something more For something more So reach out for something more
Okay, nothing really much today. Woke up late, felt sluggish, tried to do some work but wrote a few lines and went back to sleep -.- Dinner with squadmates today (: Terence, Clifton, Tong Yang, Ken and Yibin. Met at J8, had chicken rice at the other side of Bishan which we didn't really go to in the past, quite nice lol. Talk cock and bubble tea, then LAN at AMK, with Wei Rong joining in then. 7 people only for today, but it still felt great meeting my squadmates again (: A good way to take your mind off things. I realise yelling like some mad retard can help you let out steam haha. Yesterday's training yelled like some idiot for some shots once in a while lol. But well, I should be more refined and let out steam in other not so barbaric ways haha
Small things can kind of affect your mood a lot, for both good and bad things. 2C1. And I think this facebook group is very interesting. "We dwell on memories cause memories don't change when people do" I totally agree. And unfortunately for me, change is something I'm kind of resistant to and even dread, especially when things or people that mean the most to you change. The examples I can quote can suffice as support, I'm sure many can too
So stand back up and fight, don't let your fears strike you down. When in doubt, we look to our heart for answers, but if our heart's lost as well, where do we go?
My room had a visitor on Wednesday haha
Found this at some bus stop. Part of the Milo advertisement. I think the caption is pretty meaningful
Hey all, okay Term 2 week 2 kind of just ended, since tomorrow is Good Friday. Most recent thing that happened, had a friendly against MI yesterday, both guys and girls. The girls lost ): But well, part of the learning curve I guess, I believe they are capable of much more in this time frame. Jia you! For the guys, we won! 14-3 (: First time ever having such a win. Let's do this guys, let's work hard for Nationals, just 20 more days!! Currently my whole body is kind of fatigued cause of the past few days of exercises from pt and pe zzz. Damn tired still for some reason. Need to make use of this supposedly longer weekend to rest and get some work done
Sometimes for some reason or another, I seem to be held back by so many things, or maybe even held down. Not really sure how to explain, guess I'm kind of held back and paralysed by my fears. Somehow, it's hard to let go of some things, like I can still be affected by something that can have happened like two years ago? I'm kind of held back, not daring to dream, not daring to strive at times, cause that possibility of failing and falling is just overwhelming. Yeah, I guess I'm afraid of failure, afraid to fall down when you're driven so hard by passion and your dreams, cause that's when you fall the hardest, for me at least. Of course every other experience that involved your passion driving you to try to achieve, and failing to reach your goal, just adds on to the fear and apprehension whenever we try to embark on another campaign for a new goal. Perhaps this is why I don't really perform or anything, cause like they say, you've lost half the battle if your mind isn't there. The other half is lost cause I lack any skills or talents. I kind of made this statement to my parents once, what's the point of fighting so hard in trying to get scholarships or places in top courses in top universities, when so many others are going to get 4As, and they'll own you upside down with H3s, some damn zai portfolio and whatever knowledge they have? What chance do we have then? I don't even have a damn aim of what I want to do yet, I can't even catch up with my work so to speak, what more a dream of good results -.- Let's hope my brain will achieve some miracle and be able to function properly soon..
Lazy to post the next secion. Whatever the case, guess for some things I have to make a choice, like between two cases. Not saying that either one will be a postive outcome, but well you have to choose sometimes right? Not like I can multi-task very well anyway. Since we're on some things, I've been wondering for the past few days if some things we do are justified. Should some actions be done? Even if I lose out? What do I gain, what do others gain? Sometimes it's just so easy to appear to be preoccupied with training and use it as visual excuse to hide whatever's bugging you
So now the question is, is it really worth it? Guess I'll have to decide and realise that myself, maybe now maybe later, maybe never. I need to get back my faith, in myself, in what I believed in
My room had a visitor on Wednesday haha
Found this at some bus stop. Part of the Milo advertisement. I think the caption is pretty meaningful
