Ok, it's been a week since I blogged... Seriously, nowadays I just don't feel like blogging.... Don't know why... Anyway, one of the main events that happened this week was the SL Investiture.... Honestly speaking, it's my first investiture that I had participated.... So yeah, quite an experience for me.... I went for only like 1 out of the 4 rehearsals? Haha.... Anyway, I guess it went quite well.... Then of course a few minor hiccups... Yeah... Then after that there was some reception for the guests and our school's SLs... Yeah... I didn't talk to any of the guests... I'm not much of a talker... I mean, there's nothing that I can say right? So anyway just talked to my friends and we were kind of having fun.... Haha.... Anyway, took 2 pics. Here they are...
Bottom: Wai Yinn, Terence, Julian Top: Me, Timothy
Me, Richie, Ivan, Jonathan
Somehow, the second pic wasn't very nice..... Haiz.... Yeah, then I lost my phone pouch after that.... Gaaah.... Ok, then went for training.... We did Campcraft revision for the Sec 2s... Then a number of us went to Siming sir's room at the Primary side so that we could check our previous Campcraft test theory papers.... Yeah, then went back, finished Campcraft, played basketball then came home....
Nothing much for the rest of the days... Thursday received our new Class Chairman and Asst. Chairman badges... Yay!! =D Friday was our Campcraft promotion test... Didn't really have the time to study for it.... Screwed it a bit I guess... Especially the orienteering part... Zzzzz.... Yeah... Oh yah, Mrs Chew gave out the NYAA forms... Yay!! Can finally apply for NYAA... If only they started this earlier... The Sec 2s are lucky lor... They can get it much earlier.... Haiz... At lease can apply very happy le..... =D
Oh yah, forgot to mention that on Friday, Samuel was also unlucky enough to have liquid paper spilled over his shirt and pants during Geography lesson... Talk about being unlucky on Friday the 13th.... Haha.... Wanted to upload the pictures but I was too lazy to transfer them from my phone.... =P
Ok, I shall now move on to the depressing parts of this post.....
Ok... Lately I have been doing a bit of reflecting and thinking.... With some recent events, I thought to myself and wondered why I am here... Sometimes I really feel that I just some really extra guy who is here to screw people's lives as much as possible, to irritate people and create more burdens and problem for them.... Then of course, I realize that I am someone who doesn't really have any strong points, I just average or lousy in practically everything... Perhaps the best thing I'm at is wasting time... Yeah... I'm at a total loss of why on earth am I here sometimes..... I can't contribute to anything... Then I'm sometimes always misunderstood and all that rubbish.... Especially by my parents... It's something like if my results are lousy... I feel down in school, then when I go home, I don't really put on the "worried face". So my parents think that I'm not worried about my studies at all.... That's rubbish.... Cause I AM worried... I just don't show it... Then when I tell them that they don't usually listen... One example of this was when I got my PSLE results... I got like 247... And I was quite disappointed in the classroom..... I was expected to get 255+ like that according to my parents, and when I passed my parents the results slip... It was something that I didn't really want to do... Then in the car I was scolded for not being remorseful that I got lousy results... Ok, no offence to anyone here.... I was like, I felt lousy in the classroom already and I didn't want to show the school that I was crying so I controlled myself... Then there I got this kind of remarks.... It's really depressing to hear all this.... It's a really lousy feeling.... Yeah then when my parents scold me, then when I feel that there's injustice I say it then I get scolded for talking back to them, especially my Mum..... I guess now they think that I'm becoming some rebellious person and worst of all is that sometimes they think I learned it from my squadmates.... -.- That's crap.... Ok, I don't hate my parents or anything, I never did.... I always loved them, but sometimes I feel that they don't really appreciate me as their son.... But I told myself, the reason why their scolding you is because of yourself... You brought it upon yourself.... So you can't blame them..... I feel a bit empty these days..... But like I said, I don't hate my parents and I know I brought these things upon myself.... But I guess I'm just feeling a lot of mixed emotions now... I don't even know what I'm really typing now.... I guess I need a bit of a morale booster.... Why am I here?
Anyway, please don't come tagging and try to comfort me or whatsoever.... I really don't need it... Really.... I just need a bit of time to think about things...
Next part here.... Well... I read something and I felt very guilty of what I said to you.... I really shouldn't have said it.... They way I saw your face blacken I knew I had said the wrong thing.... I'm sorry.... However, they way you phrased your criticism, it made it sound as though I was totally in the wrong and I was some selfish idiot and all that.... Well.... Let me get this straight... I didn't go and spread, as you deem "propoganda", to them... I was meerly saying something that I felt should be said before everyone gets affected and our efforts from everyone would go to waste.... I didn't go up to them and say that you better stay or else or anything.... I had told them that it was ultimately their choice and I couldn't force them to do anything... You weren't there when I had made my "speech", so don't make assumptions just because of my reaction that day when you talked to me about this... I had said that... True enough, I was mad at that other certain person who just did what he did... But I never said anything about you being a what conman and liar? I didn't vent my anger on you.... I was merely stating something that I believed anyone else would also have done if they knew the situation well enough.... It was protecting everyone's hopes and dreams.... So now, many in 3-10 think that I'm some crazy idiot who is obssessed with his passion? Well, if you were me perhaps you would feel the same as I do... But you're not, that's why all of you make such remarks.... I'm not some selfish idiot who thinks I am the world or something.... Even some of my supposed best friends in my class are saying about me being crazy about it.... Now, I just don't want one stupid person to destroy our friendship.... I hope we can start over, just like we met at the beginning of the year.... You were one of my good friends that time.... But if you wish to keep your mentality that I'm like that as what you think now... Then I have nothing left to say... As a friend, I really hope that things would return to normal and no more misunderstandings may arise..... Let us stop this.... Both of us..... Please.....
It's the end of my post....
Anyway, all the best to all those taking the HCL O Level listening Compre.... Do well =D
This upcoming week has nothing much... Perhaps only shooting com finals... After that is the dreaded exams.... I fear those very badly now....
Again, I shall really try to update as much as possible... See you around people....
mentally challenged @ 11:44 PM
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