This week was a very eventful week, the dreaded field camp. Had the 8km route march to the site itself, built the bashar, had lessons on a few things. Shell scrape digging (bloody tiring) lessons and tests, shot blanks etc. Wednesday was the day that field camp was also known for, breaking you down mentally then the letter comes from your parents and stuff. For those who watched 'Every Singaporean's Son' would know this occurs. However, the video wouldn't allow an outsider to feel what the soldiers there actually felt at that point of time. I felt that feeling. No surprise, being the softie I am I was one of the first few to breakdown once the strong moving words were being used. Seeing the letter from my parents, I could feel their support for me.
Somehow fate seems to have made me have a few learning phases. Secondary School was the learning of leadership, learning the hard way. JC was learning how to be a person. And now in NS, every since I enlisted, was to simply be closer to my family, especially my parents. Before this, I was always hardly at home, either going out or staying in school for work or for CCA. Going for a camp or something didn't really pull me that hard, though it was away from home. Evene going for RC1 and 2 for CIBTC, staying away from home, I didn't really feel that sense of longing for home. Now I do, every single time. I can't wait to just see my parents and just give them a hug nowadays. I guess this is part of growing up, and understanding things better.
Nearing the end of field camp, I was starting to give up and couldn't really take it. Then while proning for one third alert, I thought of those whom I was fighting for, I thought of those whom I knew meant a hell lot to me. That gave me the strength to endure, just endure whatever shit that just came. My field camp was probably damn laxing compared to some others', but I learnt quite a lot from it
Judgement day was on Friday. Went there numb and exhausted from camp, but otherwise glad to see familiar faces. Another miracle happened for myself, and the class guys in general. When there are ups, there are also downs. Many didn't do as well as they wanted, some didn't deserve what they got, seeing the effort that they put in. The mood was pretty mixed. Like they say, results aren't everything, from now it's all up to how we're gonna do things and stuff. It's all up to us from now on. Stay strong my friends!
Spent a few hours sitting at the Macs near SCGS with the class guys just talking about army and all sorts of stuff. Leon's birthday yesterday, went to his house for dinner after the match. The match was 9-1, lost again. Numb to losing already, but otherwise feels good to be back on court
Back to camp, have to really decide what to do. I really really miss everyone, juniors, friends, family. If only I had more time..
This song was in my head during camp, it kept me awake, and going as well
Need You Now -- Lady Antebellum
mentally challenged @ 2:33 PM
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