Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond

First things first, Happy Birthday Jun Xiang!! Thanks so much for helping me throughout this past 1.5 years in floorball and stuff. We got a cake for him. Smashed some in his face, twice, taupoked and who knows what. Hope you had a good day today haha. Happy Birthday to Gabriel too, who also got some cake in his face haha. I did too lol -_-

Training wise, damn long gym session, worked on techniques again for the juniors. Some are improving quite a bit, not bad. Disappointmed at some point of time, but oh well. After training, we went to take down the balls stuck at the top of the gym there. We managed to recover like 65 plus balls. Woohoo! Nice one man, feels good to have like about 105 balls from like 30 haha. The juniors better maintain the numbers man. Went out for dinner at KAP with some of the juniors. Had fun talking all sorts of nonsense haha. Bharat is like omg damn sick lol. The JH3 level this year sounds very lol. Still, had great fun. I think we talked for like almost 2.5 hours or something.

Okay, have been reflecting on this for a while now. And I guess today I shall have to face the truth I've been trying to kind of avoid for a few weeks while I was on the subject. The severity of it is there, right in front of my face. In this year, we dropped from 5th to about like third last in the league. After one year, I can't really say we're a really bonded team. After one year I realise, I haven't really down anything. The cca dropped in standing, the people divided. Compared to what my seniors had achieved, I can only say the harsh fact to myself: 'You've failed in your duty, your term has been a failure'. I couldn't lead the team. I don't know why, I felt the same way back then in NP as well. What had I done right as a Sec 3 DI then? This leads me to wonder, like the other things, will I forever be trying to make up for my mistakes? When departments screw up, they look at it's management, in turn it's head. When ministries fumble, they look at it's minister. This unfortunately, are facts of life. I'm sorry Adrian, I'm sorry my fellow excos, I'm sorry team, I'm sorry njfb. I hope that the next batch will do a better job and bring the cca up. Achieve as a team what I failed to bring to the cca, as part of our aspirations. There's just so much more that could have been done. Regrets.. Can someone convince me otherwise? Think that'll be hard

When I'm no longer useful, when I'm no longer needed, I'll just disappear

Another burst of self-crap. Maybe sleep might help. Freak

mentally challenged @ 11:04 PM