Follow where your heart leads you, to infinity and beyond
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Okay, it's time I update this place properly now. First things first, A's officially ended yesterday for the Physics people, though it already kinda ended after last Tuesday's double papers of Econs and Physics lol. Played basketball and had dinner with class people after Econs. Went to S11 at AMK to eat. Tried stingray for the first time! Pretty awesome stuff haha. Then sat there and had a damn fun talk cock session. Friday went for annual camp lol. Had about 2 hours of sleep cause of debrief and firedrill, then had a floorball match on Sat morning, CHS alumni VS CHS team. Saturday's match proved to me that my physical condition really sucks. JX, Eugene and I couldn't take it after running a bit -.- Somehow managed to score 3 goals! (: First time scoring using a wrap somemore haha. Couldn't stay for the rest of the camp cause I was in no condition to do so. Came home and slept. Sunday went to Bishan library with Jon.
Yesterday was Physics, got quite a number of questions wrong but well :/ Went to play LAN then went to You'en's house for stayover. Learnt how to play mahjong properly liao haha. Floorball training at RP this morning, a new coach came today. Think he's not bad! I think he can connect more to people, which I think is important between like a student and teacher kind of relation. Learnt quite a bit about some ball control and stuff. Physical was like crap as usual. But managed to score quite a few goals still haha.
In the evening had the class bbq event at my house for the scholars, since they'll be leaving over the weekend. In short, it was a crazy evening lol. Had multiple calls on how to get here (freaking ulu place I know lol), then the weather totally sucked -.- Went ahead and tried to start the fire anyway, we built this little bashar over the pit using a poncho and twine lol. Then we had a few people crouching over the pit lol. Damn epic. Got these pics from Meng Lei. Think this pic explains quite a bit haha. In the end the rain got even worse and we had to abandon the plan. Everyone came to my house and then bo pian tried to cook some of the things using the oven lol. So just whacked whatever we could. Had a pretty awesome time. Sibo made some ice cream! Damn nice Group pic. Had 23 people over just now lol. The girls left earlier so couldn't include them in the picture
So well, this is goodbye to the scholars for now as they go back home. Although I haven't really interacted with them as much as compared to the rest of the class, I really like this bunch of people. To be honest, back in CHS I didn't have a good impression of China scholars, partially of my narrow minded views and also not knowing any of them personally, but some things were well, not very impressive. This bunch totally changed my impression. Interacted more with them this year. Played Lan with Sibo, then you'll hear retarded jokes and comments by Yan Zhao and even soccer with the two guys. Gonna miss them for a bit. Thanks Yan Zhao, Sibo, Meng Lei, Zhou Wei and Huang Xuan. Hope can meet up when they come back next year! Till we meet again guys (: Not forgetting the guys of 09SH25! Had an awesome evening with them despite the weather. Crazy ideas and most importantly, the spontaneous nature of everyone, going with the flow and just having fun. Thanks guys (:
Slowly but surely, we might have to take seperate paths, but these memories will keep us united in spirit. As long as you have the heart, these fine threads of the past will stay alive
Tick tock, the time bomb has been recognised and pressurised. There's nowhere to hide. And now I need another chance to live
Had a lot of thoughts recently, reflecting about stuff. Guess I'll talk more about them after A's I guess. Right now, I guess I'm paying the price. Maybe I'm paranoid and stuff about A's :/ Felt damn sian on Wednesday while studying, that's just a rough description of it. Thanks so much Milissa for trying to cheer me up (: Thanks loads to Jaron, Panyu, Khai and Wei Jian, okay they helped indirectly in the mass convo, still appreciate it all the same (:
Chem P2 Qn2 was crap, Physics P2 planning was weird, Econs case study is very weird as well. Win liao. 3 more days to unofficial freedom! The catch of all this: It's gonna be a damn hiong 3 days. Chem P1 on Monday, Physics P3 and Econs P2 (ESSAY!!) on Tuesday. After Tuesday I'm taking out my stick already man. Haven't touched them for like 2 months plus or so already..
Oh well, let's just make the most out of it. Chiong ah! And Happy Birthday Darrell Leong!! (:
What if we were given another chance to live?
Dancing Dead -- Avenged Sevenfold
Dead men, they celebrate As the final chapter Fades away, cuz they can't hide; We can see their flesh is rotten!
The band plays a hopeful tune The champagne is poured As they socialize The look in their eyes Hide in the light!
Everything is paid for tonight While at the party of the Dead dancing in their graves The drinks here are free, so relax Enjoy the sight of all the Dead dancing in their graves
And while the world that they built Told 'em to change Told 'em to listen They just kept it the same And now that midnight has come I'll get a room watching the Dead dancing in their graves
Bones covered up by suits As the visible scars, they multiply Kiss it good-bye Too stubborn and now you're destroyed!
Tick, tock The time bomb has been Recognized and pressurized Nowhere to hide Swallowing light!
Everything is paid for tonight While at the party of the Dead dancing in their graves The drinks here are free, so relax Enjoy the sight of all the Dead dancing in their graves
And while the world that they built Told 'em to change Told 'em to listen They just kept it the same And now that midnight has come I'll get a room watching the Dead dancing in their graves
Feel a coming strength And now it's too late To change
Everything is paid for tonight While at the party of the Dead dancing in their graves The drinks here are free, so relax Enjoy the sight of all the Dead dancing in their graves
And while the world that they built Told 'em to change Told 'em to listen They just kept it the same And now that midnight has come I'll get a room watching the Dead dancing in their graves
We feel a coming strength And now it's too late To change
Everything I know, and anywhere I go, it gets hard but it won't take away what I care for and what I believe in
Okay, did one paper and screwed it up quite a bit -.- Not much for the day. Had dinner with family outside at some restaurant to celebrate my brother's birthday. Happy Birthday Bro!
Played the piano again after quite some time. The surge of feeling was pretty awesome as you put emotion into your playing. Okay I'm not very good but at least I can play a bit lol. Froze just now over something. It was like a omfg feeling
The battle continues on Tuesday, shan't blog for the rest of the week at least I guess? 9 days to unofficial freedom! Floorball!
Fight, not to fall. Endure!!
I think this is one of their best songs. Probably the first song I heard from them. 3 Doors Down! (:
Here Without You -- 3 Doors Down
A hundred days have made me older Since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same But all the miles that separate Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight it's only you and me The miles just keep rollin' As the people leave their way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated But I hope that it gets better as we go I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl its only you and me Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it wont take away my love And when the last one falls When it's all said and done It gets hard but it wont take away my love I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby And I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl its only you and me
Nothing really much today. Went to CHS to study with Eugene, KB, Manfred and Jon. Had tuition again, then dinner with Lum, Jon and Eugene Sim. Interesting topic brought up during our conversation over dinner. Stuff about how society works a bit. When something goes wrong, is there a blame game sometimes? Ends up someone will have to bear the responsibility. Question is, who and how?
I wonder how, I wonder why. I wonder if, I wonder perhaps
Always wanted to post this, hit single from the new album that came out this year. Awesome song, music vid is gruesome haha.
Nightmare -- Avenged Sevenfold
Nightmare! (Now your nightmare comes to life) Dragged you down below down to the devil's show, To be his guest forever, Peace of mind is less than never Hate to twist your mind, but God ain't on your side An old acquaintance severed, Render of your last endeavor Ashes burning, you can smell it in the air, Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal. So stand in line while banging numbers in your head, You're now a slave until the end of time And nothing stops the madness turning, haunting, yearning, pull the trigger! You should have known The price of evil, And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah Ooooh, it's your fuckin nightmare While your nightmare comes to life Can't wake up in sweat, cause it ain't over yet, Still dancing with your demons, Victim of your own creation beyond the will to fight, Where all thats wrong is right where hate dont need a reason Love is self-assassination You've been lied to just to rape you of your sight, And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel. So sedated as they medicate your brain And while ya slowly go insane they tell you Give in with your best intentions Help ya with your complications You should have known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah No one to call, everybody to fear Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah. Ooooo it's your fuckin nightmare Ha ha ha ha!! Fight, fight, not to fail, fail Not to fall, fall Or youll end up like the others. Die, die, die again, die Drenched in sin, sin With no respect for another Oh! Death, You! Feel the fire, fire Feel the hate, hate Your pain is what we desire. Lost, lost, hit the wall, wall Watch you crawl, crawl Such a replaceable liar. And I know you hear their voices (calling from above), And I know they may seem real (these signals of love), But a lifes made up of choices (some without appeal), They took for granted your soul And its ours now to steal As your nightmare comes to life You should have known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah. No one to call, everybody to fear, Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeahooooh it's your fuckin nightmare!
Talk about exhaustion. Absolutely tired after this week of papers. Couldn't sleep properly for the past few nights -.- Then again, there have been people in worse of situations than me, like the Bio and History people. Can't be bothered to talk about A's so far.
Had some random thoughts in my mind on the way home. What if we could do some things over again? And do we know the possible implications of what we do or say that we might have on others? Guess like that say, think before you speak or act. Just some food for thought
For the first question, wish I could be like how I was in CHS. Cause the truth is, I'm not smart at all. I was hardworking, that's all
Freaking tired. And damn suay lah, some random family gathering tomorrow evening and next Wednesday. Lousy timing, can't go zzzz... CHS and tuition tomorrow! And I want to play Floorball soon :/
Anyone has songs to introduce? Prefably of the rock/alternative genre area. Getting damn bored of my own already -.-
Still some glimpses of hope, fight on
I wonder....
Lifehouse! (:
Halfway Gone -- Lifehouse
You were always hard to hold So letting go ain't easy I'm hanging on but growing cold While my mind is leaving Talk, talk is cheap Give me a word you can keep Cause you're halfway gone and I'm on way And I'm feeling, feelin feelin this way Cause I'm halfway in but don't take too long Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone You got one foot out the door And choking on the other Always think there's something more It's just around the corner Talk, talk is cheap Give me a word you can keep Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on way And I'm feeling, feelin, feelin this way Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone If you want me out, then I'm on my way And I'm feeling, feelin, feelin this way Cause you're halfway in, but don't take too long Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohohoww wohohoww) Im halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohohoww wohohoww) Now I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone Don't take too long, don't take too long Cause I'm on my way If you take too long Cause I'm halfway gone and I'm on way And I'm feeling, feelin I'm feelin this way Cause you're halfway in but don't take too long Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone If you want me out, then I'm on my way And I'm feelin , feelin feelin this way Cause you're halfway in, but don't take too long Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone (wohohoww wohohoww) Cause I'm halfway gone, and I'm halfway gone (wohohoww wohohoww) Cause I'm halfway gone, yeah I'm halfway gone
Had a really long and meaningful chat with my Dad just now. Talked about some global issues to stuff about A's. The horrible feeling from this morning is much less intense now. I feel a bit more inspired to really give it my all now, no matter what. Thanks Dad (:
Too all my friends taking A's as well (and for those who already started lol), ALL THE BEST! (:
I will try one last time. I will fight, the last fight
I guess this is self explanatory. Let's do this everyone!
The Last Fight -- Bullet For My Valentine
I don't wanna stand beside you. I don't wanna try and feel the pain you're going through. Till the death you've seen is through. Cold sweats, hallucinations; I wanna scream to show the hell I'm going through. The addiction's taking you. Can you see me through bloodshot eyes Should I fight for what is right or let it die? Now I'm choking on force fed lies. Do I fight or let it die? I will fight, one more fight Don't break down in front of me. I will fight (Will you fight?) I am not the enemy. I will try one last time. Are you listening to me? I will fight (The last fight) I am not your enemy. Everyone is sick of caring, No silver lining on the cloud that covers you. Let it pour and soak you through. No hope, just desperation; So sit and wait for death, And pray it takes you soon. The addiction's taking you. Can you see me through bloodshot eyes. Should I fight for what is right or let it die? Now I'm choking on force fed lies. Do I fight or let it die? I will fight, one more fight Don't break down in front of me. I will fight (Will you fight?) I am not the enemy. I will try one last time. Are you listening to me? I will fight (The last fight) I am not your enemy. Can you feel me through bloodshot eyes? Should I fight another night or let it die? Now I'm choking on every lie. Do I fight or let it die?! I will fight, one more fight Don't break down in front of me. I will fight (Will you fight?) I am not the enemy. I will try one last time. Are you listening to me? I will fight (The last fight) I am not your enemy. I am not your, not your enemy! I am not your enemy.
This feeling feels oddly familiar. I last felt it the night before I went for D'08. That fearful feeling. Though I have one more day to go, the anxiety of the unknown is simply gripping me, it's almost suffocating. What if? What if? What if? I know it's too late to be thinking about that now. I really need something to help me get this weight off.
Thanks so much for the encouraging messages. Wish everyone all the best too! All the best to the history and Geography people for tomorrow!
In the past, before every paper we would have the prayers in the hall. May that calming effect from then come back and bring peace to all our spirits
The fight down here goes on and on, I realize it's difficult but now I can see, yeah. Climb up from the bottom for the last time, the last one
Okay, shall make this as quick as possible. Tuesday evening the 28 people went to Carl's Junior at Plaza Sing to celebrate Shian's birthday. Same date and place as last year, which happened to be after Chinese A's. Had a lot of fun doing random stuff like playing zhong ji mi mah, coming up with all sorts of rubbish (credit You'en for coming up with the weirdest combinations) So yeah, since it was the 3rd of November. HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SHIAN!!! 12 years and counting (:
Today normal stuff, had gp consult. I'm a damn soft guy cause I tear easily from minor scoldings. Maybe the situation sucks, whatever. Pissed off and sian. Thanks Wei Jian for trying to talk me out of it. Took damn long to do one math paper.. Damn careless and not thinking properly -.- Had dinner with the SJI gang at Adam road.
Uninspired, lack of support, poor substantiation. In short: die. FK
I'm sure most of us would have read the report about the killing at Downtown East. I was pretty appalled when I saw it. I felt a bit for it, cause for one, it simply defied my logic as to the actions of the perpetrators. I mean, in full view of the public choppers were brought out and they inflicted wounds on a person such that they would actually kill a person? Won't they have felt something? And these guys are around the same age as the rest of us. Who knows what could happen in the future for these undescribable acts? I don't know the exact details yet, so can't point fingers at anyone. But the damage is clear. I never really got these petty things about wanting to get into a fight over a stupid staring incident. I almost whacked or something by this idiot when exiting the lan shop in a hurry. Giving me the intimidating look while advancing trying to pick a fight -.- My deepest condolences to the family of Darren Ng
I was posed an interesting question a few days back, early in the morning (very early). My own answer surprised me. Yet there was hesitation. I might have to finally admit to myself the magnitude of it. Doubt and reason seem to come along. The words echoed through my mind again. Ah well. Stay sane can liao. My duty still remains the same, though the role might have been adjusted a bit. The ending won't be as I hoped. Still, live another night to fight
On an unrelated note, I think it would be nice for some things to go a certain way. And I had difficulty sleeping last night as I was pondering over NS and A's haha. Two consultations tomorrow. First (and most probably last lol) for Chem and Econs. See what stuff I can accomplish tomorrow. Need more efficiency and the will to stay on track. Keep getting demoralised easily -.-
So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong. And you finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you
Another Diamonds in the Rough song. The theme of the song reminds of a lot of stuff where I had to make decisions between things. Best part of the song for me is the second part plus The Rev's part of the 'anger I see' portion lol
Crossroads -- Avenged Sevenfold
I've been traveling for so long So lost till I stumbled upon Two roads in front of me I've got to take my time To the right I could see a church I took a step in that direction first But to the left there was a watering hole Where they were whiskey drunk And now that's where I wanna pray The fight down here goes on and on If I was perfect then this would be easy Either road's plausible or both I could drown I walk through the centre with no rules to guide me I realize it's difficult but now I can see There's gotta be another way to go A way that's much more feasible A combination of all these lives A central path without choosing a side I make decisions one at a time And no I never say I'm always right I'm confident that when I stand on my own You'll see the truest form of a man When I'm shining through The fight down here goes on and on If I was perfect then this would be easy Either road's plausible or both I could drown I walk through the centre with no rules to guide me I realize it's difficult but now I can see Oh, I hear them now All the religious rhymes (Anger I see, anger I see, anger I see now) The left isn't better It's just more of the same Condemning all these people For what they believe I climb to the top of that mountain again No harm is done to see me this way And the closer to the top I get The more they take aim but I'm not you I may not be perfect but I've always been true I may not be worthy in your eyes Climb up from the bottom for the last time The last one, the last one, the last time If I was perfect then this would be easy Either road's plausible on both I could drown I walk through the center with no rules to guide me I realize it's difficult but now I can see, yeah
Your life may be hard, but keep your feet on the ground. It takes more than one idea, more than one person to fight the fight
Okay nuts, I woke up at like 1 plus in the afternoon yesterday -.- Did some work, then went for tuition. Came home did some stuff, then had an epic 4-5 hours phone conversation. Nice one. We're surviving on 3 hours of sleep haha. Shall turn in early today I guess.
Draggy day, couldn't do much. My brain's screwed. Shall chiong more tomorrow! (Have to lol)
8
Whatever we go through, it inevitably becomes a part of us, at least for those that impacted me in one way or another. In that sense, we're constantly growing and learning new things all the time. We all do. And I think I realised something pretty important recently. What I've been looking for might have been right in front of me all this time. I was just too blinded by other things. Learning again I guess
Discovered some songs over the weekend. Can't believe I didn't discover them earlier -_- Attracted by the tune of this song, especially towards the second chorus plus the bridge. Pretty melodious
The Fight -- Avenged Sevenfold
The problem with society's been how do we teach And if they'll believe We'll fight this battle for years to come Till we only accept that we can stand on our own Grandfather used his hands. He worked them to the bone. Provide his family with a happy home-- alone Don't take your aggression out on me My own man's all I meant to be This common place so lazy, old, and tired. All your ideas are so bleak o uninspired Takes more than one idea, More than one person to fight the fight How many times have you taught and not conspired? Don't wanna be, they never see But don't call us the liars We've walked these allies a thousand times And scattered around a thousand lies They are trying to hold you down Your life may be hard, but keep your feet on the ground Why don't I have the fun of things that others have? The chance is there if you want it all that bad So bad.. Don't take your aggression out on me My own man's all I meant to be This common place is so lazy, old, and tired All your ideas are so bleak o uninspired Takes more than one idea More than one person to fight the fight How many times have you taught and not conspired? Don't try and get me confused (Cause I do understand) That sometimes people need help (That they may need a) Hand when there's problems going on A thing you have to get straight (Is that you don't own my hand) And I don't owe you a thing (So don't think about how) Sorry you're feeling now you're treated so bad This common place is so lazy, old, and tired All your ideas are so bleak o uninspired Takes more than one idea More than one person to fight the fight How many times have you taught and not conspired? And as a race, we look back and we've come so far While some may conqure, the others had it so hard But instead we just complain when there's no one for us to fight I guess we're bored, and that's how we keep us occupied
Think this pic explains quite a bit haha. In the end the rain got even worse and we had to abandon the plan. Everyone came to my house and then bo pian tried to cook some of the things using the oven lol. So just whacked whatever we could. Had a pretty awesome time. Sibo made some ice cream! Damn nice
Group pic. Had 23 people over just now lol. The girls left earlier so couldn't include them in the picture
